I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
