do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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