ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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