Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
