Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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