When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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