If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
