I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
