I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize