you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
