You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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