You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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