Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
