We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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