it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
...so i touched it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
