Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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