I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
