It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We were destined to go to rehab together
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
