Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
