Having a random hookup so left but love u
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
