So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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