i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Everything about him screamed your future.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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