If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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