so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
