why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
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She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
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I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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