You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
