omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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