Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
