You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
