watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
