why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
