Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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