I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So much Jack, so little girl.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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