remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
