Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So gin and wine won't be happening again
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
