I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
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I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
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We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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