i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Randomize
