That's intense
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
