I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
