i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
