Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation

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  (908): my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation http://tfl.nu/55rf
  Replies (12) Good night (1809) Bad night (779)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it

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  (910): after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it http://tfl.nu/b99n
  Replies (48) Good night (2908) Bad night (6203)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker

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  (254): his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker http://tfl.nu/f6e1
  Replies (19) Good night (992) Bad night (9126)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis

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  (215): This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis http://tfl.nu/mvim
  Replies (17) Good night (1734) Bad night (2906)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY

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  (914): Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY http://tfl.nu/p14o
  Replies (11) Good night (3709) Bad night (1528)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .

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  (+44): Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning . http://tfl.nu/qry6
  Replies (13) Good night (3743) Bad night (1494)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.

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  (478): He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him. http://tfl.nu/w7kg
  Replies (7) Good night (2168) Bad night (740)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula

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  (702): Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems (702): I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula http://tfl.nu/2l23
  Replies (9) Good night (1384) Bad night (999)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.

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  (847): Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing. http://tfl.nu/jldd
  Replies (14) Good night (1698) Bad night (594)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?

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  (520): Did your surprise acid trip turn out well? http://tfl.nu/10os
  Replies (6) Good night (661) Bad night (494)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.

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  (708): I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid. http://tfl.nu/0wsp
  Replies (4) Good night (728) Bad night (480)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.

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  (203): Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached. http://tfl.nu/x9l2
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (489)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life

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  (225): I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life http://tfl.nu/dl7i
  Replies (1) Good night (921) Bad night (355)
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  (858): View more from California

  He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone

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  (858): He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone http://tfl.nu/52cs
  Replies (8) Good night (1340) Bad night (365)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...

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  (519): Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse... http://tfl.nu/1uut
  Replies (5) Good night (683) Bad night (243)

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