Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
