perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??