Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me

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  (734): I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me http://tfl.nu/ldou
  Replies (5) Good night (721) Bad night (988)
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  (718): View more from New York

  I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn

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  (718): I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn http://tfl.nu/ymp4
  Replies (19) Good night (850) Bad night (2381)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?

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  (617): Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it? http://tfl.nu/1qwp
  Replies (16) Good night (806) Bad night (3184)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?

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  (312): you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were? http://tfl.nu/ge77
  Replies (40) Good night (679) Bad night (3288)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.

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  (512): He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay. http://tfl.nu/se3r
  Replies (25) Good night (1855) Bad night (3280)
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  (951): View more from California

  Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.

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  (951): Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other. http://tfl.nu/32su
  Replies (10) Good night (2119) Bad night (863)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'

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  (614): I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table' http://tfl.nu/avs4
  Replies (4) Good night (3779) Bad night (716)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!

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  (708): Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player! http://tfl.nu/3jxt
  Replies (8) Good night (3633) Bad night (705)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.

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  (561): If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying. http://tfl.nu/hkz1
  Replies (3) Good night (1692) Bad night (702)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses

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  (303): I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses http://tfl.nu/zlmy
  Replies (8) Good night (1669) Bad night (838)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I think I sprained my soul last night

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  (773): I think I sprained my soul last night http://tfl.nu/779v
  Replies (11) Good night (2503) Bad night (912)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.

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  (229): It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night. http://tfl.nu/etjs
  Replies (3) Good night (1370) Bad night (559)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me

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  (206): She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me http://tfl.nu/zp1n
  Replies (11) Good night (2244) Bad night (560)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is

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  (229): I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is http://tfl.nu/c9vw
  Replies (4) Good night (1102) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me

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  (303): Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me http://tfl.nu/z6xe
  Replies (0) Good night (334) Bad night (208)

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