Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize