Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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