I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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