Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it was like eating out sand paper
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
