He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
There are leaves in my underwear?
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