i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize