somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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