I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
