What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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