Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
