WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
