There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
