i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
