i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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