yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
