Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
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