I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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