I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
