Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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